Yes, I'd be happy to tell you more about my neighbors.
First off, those people in the house with the unkempt lawn probably are NOT drug dealers. I just said that. However, one of them wears dreadlocks which I think is, like, code, for "I smoke pot" and so I guess they are way too busy to mow the lawn or fix the gutters.
Across the street is where Mary and Joseph live. Those aren't their real names but he attends Baptist seminary (I'm pretty sure that SHE is not a seminarian unless she's majoring in "wife" because as we all know women aren't fit for ministry) so that's what Babycakes decided to call them. They hung a large American flag on their porch the day after we hung Tibeten Prayer Flags on ours, because they pray to the American God and we are ... well ... not saved.
Next to us is the HOUSE WITH THE POOL. You might think that we go over there to swim but you'd be wrong. They like to listen to Jimmy Buffet while they swim. And there are hygiene issues. Private pools and private hot tubs are just breeding grounds for all sorts of germy infections that itch. I'm not getting in there. Not with those people.
Then there's "Mr. Man" who we think is retired CIA. Or maybe he was a Navy Seal. We don't know his real name either but we're pretty sure that our phone is tapped and that our house is under constant surveilance. He walks a very ugly English bulldog and owns an old pickup truck and the latest model Ford Mustang convertable. When we put a "Peace is Patriotic" sign in our yard he put TWO "Support Our Troops" signs in his. That showed us, yessiree.
There's a house for sale down the block. Why don't you buy it? We'll give you a nickname ...