Don't you just love my tan?

We're back! Tanned, rested, and not hung over anymore. Senors & senoritas, it was FABulous (Si, charge that to my room, por favor. Gracias.)

Ten things you need to know about Acapulco:

1) They have different money there, but that's okay because Babycakes had it figured out in about 5 minutes so I let her pay for everything.

2) The taxi drivers are fucking nuts. They drive their blue-and-white VW beetles like bats-out-of-hell. Acapulco is a city of hills and they use leaded gasoline so I was immediately car sick whenever we drove anywhere.

3) The so-called "Mexican" food we have here in Louisville is NOT authentic. I love Qdoba but it's so wrong.

4) You can spend money every 5 seconds there because someone will always just walk up to you and ask you if you want to buy something. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless what they want you to buy is a timeshare.

5) If you ask where the bathroom is in Spanish, they will answer you in Spanish. This is not helpful. Just speak English if you only know three words in Spanish. Everyone will be a lot happier.

6) Canadians LOVE Acapulco in the Winter. They were everywhere, speaking French and drinking. Well, everyone was drinking but the Canadians were louder except for those assholes from Chicago.

7) Beer "prepared" is lovely. I want to drink it everyday. You fill a salt-rimmed glass with ice, put about 3 ounces of fresh-squeezed lime juice in it and then pour the beer on top. I wouldn't try it with Guinness but Babycakes had it with Negra Modela and proclaimed it mighty fine.

8) They have Walmart, McDonalds, Burger King, and CSI on TV. Jeez, we can't go anywhere anymore without being assaulted by American commerce.

9) I thought the two-for-one drinks didn't have any alcohol in them until I tried to stand up. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself.

10) Don't even think about paying $18 per person to watch the famous Acapulco Cliff Divers "from a comfortable restaurant, two drinks included." If you must go, pay the $3 to stand on the terrace with the natives. Or better yet, don't go and tell everyone you did.