Suntans are unhealthy. It's true. I'm not sure that my Northern European and British Isles ancestors ever had to deal with this.
When you get a sun-BURN that means that the sun is actually BURNING YOUR SKIN. And the tan you get? That's your skin cells dying as they turn brown and then FALL OFF. And while it's happening it's incredibly itchy in places where you can't reach (like the middle of your back). And when your scalp peels it looks like dandruff to everyone else.
Feel sorry for me.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Don't you just love my tan?
We're back! Tanned, rested, and not hung over anymore. Senors & senoritas, it was FABulous (Si, charge that to my room, por favor. Gracias.)
Ten things you need to know about Acapulco:
1) They have different money there, but that's okay because Babycakes had it figured out in about 5 minutes so I let her pay for everything.
2) The taxi drivers are fucking nuts. They drive their blue-and-white VW beetles like bats-out-of-hell. Acapulco is a city of hills and they use leaded gasoline so I was immediately car sick whenever we drove anywhere.
3) The so-called "Mexican" food we have here in Louisville is NOT authentic. I love Qdoba but it's so wrong.
4) You can spend money every 5 seconds there because someone will always just walk up to you and ask you if you want to buy something. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless what they want you to buy is a timeshare.
5) If you ask where the bathroom is in Spanish, they will answer you in Spanish. This is not helpful. Just speak English if you only know three words in Spanish. Everyone will be a lot happier.
6) Canadians LOVE Acapulco in the Winter. They were everywhere, speaking French and drinking. Well, everyone was drinking but the Canadians were louder except for those assholes from Chicago.
7) Beer "prepared" is lovely. I want to drink it everyday. You fill a salt-rimmed glass with ice, put about 3 ounces of fresh-squeezed lime juice in it and then pour the beer on top. I wouldn't try it with Guinness but Babycakes had it with Negra Modela and proclaimed it mighty fine.
8) They have Walmart, McDonalds, Burger King, and CSI on TV. Jeez, we can't go anywhere anymore without being assaulted by American commerce.
9) I thought the two-for-one drinks didn't have any alcohol in them until I tried to stand up. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself.
10) Don't even think about paying $18 per person to watch the famous Acapulco Cliff Divers "from a comfortable restaurant, two drinks included." If you must go, pay the $3 to stand on the terrace with the natives. Or better yet, don't go and tell everyone you did.
Ten things you need to know about Acapulco:
1) They have different money there, but that's okay because Babycakes had it figured out in about 5 minutes so I let her pay for everything.
2) The taxi drivers are fucking nuts. They drive their blue-and-white VW beetles like bats-out-of-hell. Acapulco is a city of hills and they use leaded gasoline so I was immediately car sick whenever we drove anywhere.
3) The so-called "Mexican" food we have here in Louisville is NOT authentic. I love Qdoba but it's so wrong.
4) You can spend money every 5 seconds there because someone will always just walk up to you and ask you if you want to buy something. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless what they want you to buy is a timeshare.
5) If you ask where the bathroom is in Spanish, they will answer you in Spanish. This is not helpful. Just speak English if you only know three words in Spanish. Everyone will be a lot happier.
6) Canadians LOVE Acapulco in the Winter. They were everywhere, speaking French and drinking. Well, everyone was drinking but the Canadians were louder except for those assholes from Chicago.
7) Beer "prepared" is lovely. I want to drink it everyday. You fill a salt-rimmed glass with ice, put about 3 ounces of fresh-squeezed lime juice in it and then pour the beer on top. I wouldn't try it with Guinness but Babycakes had it with Negra Modela and proclaimed it mighty fine.
8) They have Walmart, McDonalds, Burger King, and CSI on TV. Jeez, we can't go anywhere anymore without being assaulted by American commerce.
9) I thought the two-for-one drinks didn't have any alcohol in them until I tried to stand up. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself.
10) Don't even think about paying $18 per person to watch the famous Acapulco Cliff Divers "from a comfortable restaurant, two drinks included." If you must go, pay the $3 to stand on the terrace with the natives. Or better yet, don't go and tell everyone you did.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The forecast: 90 degrees and sunny
I have learned all the spanish I need to know. Cerveza (beer) and baño (bathroom). I'm ready for Acapulco.
Babycakes was rummaging around in the liquor cabinet last night, asking, "Do we have any tequila?"
"No, why?" I answered.
"Because I was going to practice," says she.
Back in a while.
Babycakes was rummaging around in the liquor cabinet last night, asking, "Do we have any tequila?"
"No, why?" I answered.
"Because I was going to practice," says she.
Back in a while.
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Next time, the Reuben
Babycakes and I found ourselves in (shhhh, don't tell anyone) the suburbs today so we had lunch at Naiman's Deli.
"Uncle Leo said the corned beef was good here," says babycakes. I trust Uncle Leo so I ordered the corned beef with spicy mustard on rye. Babycakes got tuna on rye. I'm not a pickle-eater so I gave mine to her.
I just have one thing to say about my lunch: OH -- MY -- GOD.
No, seriously. It was that good. The corned beef was sliced paper thin and piled about four inches tall. The rye bread was homemade or imported from New York or someplace where they know how to make rye bread (not here) and they let us buy a half-loaf to take home. Babycakes also bought a jar of pickles and treated me to a candy bar called Halvah, a chocolate-covered sesame seed something which prompted me to whine "Why have you never told me about these before now?"
But just about then we saw them: the reuben sandwiches. Unbelievable. These are no ordinary sandwiches, they are masterpieces of sandwich-making. Next time, the reuben. You can come with.
"Uncle Leo said the corned beef was good here," says babycakes. I trust Uncle Leo so I ordered the corned beef with spicy mustard on rye. Babycakes got tuna on rye. I'm not a pickle-eater so I gave mine to her.
I just have one thing to say about my lunch: OH -- MY -- GOD.
No, seriously. It was that good. The corned beef was sliced paper thin and piled about four inches tall. The rye bread was homemade or imported from New York or someplace where they know how to make rye bread (not here) and they let us buy a half-loaf to take home. Babycakes also bought a jar of pickles and treated me to a candy bar called Halvah, a chocolate-covered sesame seed something which prompted me to whine "Why have you never told me about these before now?"
But just about then we saw them: the reuben sandwiches. Unbelievable. These are no ordinary sandwiches, they are masterpieces of sandwich-making. Next time, the reuben. You can come with.
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