Thursday, January 26, 2012

5 Things That I Am Not

I'm in a bad, bad mood. Let's blame it on the grey, cloudy, wet, cold, sucky weather that we have in Louisville in January. This is why I could never live in Portland or Seattle. Or Alaska. I am useless when we go for days without seeing the sun, when you can't tell if it is 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. because every hour in between is colored in the same shade of grey. So bad moods make me doubt my very existence and not any person or thing can keep me from making a list of all of the things I am not.

1. I am not interesting. I am the dullest person on the planet. Say something fascinating to me and I'll reply "Duh." Or I might say, "Sure." That's all I've got. Don't expect any more.

2. I am not motivated. Do you think I should eat more vegetables and exercise more? Yeah, probably. Whatever.

3. I am not excited by anything. Free ticket to Paris? We could leave today? I don't know, I think I have a dentist appointment. I'll get back to you. Maybe.

4. I am not smart. I can't remember what I read in the news this morning. Multiplication tables? Are you kidding? TV show theme song lyrics from the 60s? Well, I might be able to do that.

5. I am not angry. I don't have any feelings at all. I just don't have the energy.

Writing this blog post is the best thing I've done all day.

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