Friday, December 12, 2008

My new girlfriend is named Olga

I'm sorry Victoria (Secret), but you'll never caress my breasts again. Despite wooing me with your models (Tyra and Heidi) and the names of your products (Body and Ipex), I've found someone new. Her name is Olga.

I love her because she is so ... available. She's just where I want her, in all the major department stores, and is frequently, umm, marked down. You know what that means. That I'll be able to enjoy more of her.

Victoria, you broke my heart more than once. Your styles and colors were lacking in my size. Oh, I know I'm not 34B and I don't need pushing up but is that any reason NOT to offer me the excitement I crave?

Don't hate me. We'll still be friends. It's just that I love Olga now.

No comments: