Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I don't know what to say
So I've been thinking about what I call this ... my situation. Most couples would say they are getting a divorce and then their friends and acquaintances would express sympathy or support or secretly speculate about whether an affair was involved.
Relatives would ask "how are the kids taking it" and then start asking the most personal of all question "how will you make out, you know, financially?"
My case is more complicated. "Breakup" is just not an adquate word. That's what I'd say if we'd been dating -- rather than sharing our entire lives for over 14 years. But since we're not married, divorce is not the proper term either.
Not that there isn't tons of paperwork and attorneys and notaries involved. We've had to change our wills and our medical powers of attorney. We've had to update our insurance beneficiaries. And then there's putting the house up for sale and (eventually) change of address forms.
And small things too. She had an extra key to my car. And I had CDs and books that she cherishes stashed among my things. And looming ahead is the big box of photographs from when people actually printed photos (instead of publishing them online) to go through.
So what do I call this? How do I answer questions? Change is hard, and sometimes there are no words for it.