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Lessons learned from "Sons of Anarchy"

2012-01-29T11:31:00.002-05:00

I've been watching (on Netflix) a television series called "Sons of Anarchy." It's a show about a motorcycle club in Northern California but the more I watch, the more I realize it's about so much more than that.

1. It's okay to be fearless (but bring backup). Over and over the characters in the show exhibit incredible bravery in some very dangerous situations. But you know, it's not just because they are these awesome biker dudes with muscles and guns. It's that they have the strength and loyalty of the entire club behind them. And they've cultivated allies along the way. One of the most interesting storylines is how they nurture a relationship with the town's chief of police.

It makes me wonder, "What would I do if I needed backup? Who are my allies?"

2. It's all about family. The members of the club are family, sometimes blood-related (there are fathers and sons in the club) and sometimes figuratively. They squabble with each other, they take care of each other, and when Gemma (the "old lady" of the club's president, the former wife of the club's founder who has died, and the mother of the heir-apparent) calls everyone to her house for dinner the show takes on a "Waltons" feel. Good night John-Boy.

Both our chosen families and our biological families are necessary in today's society. We need to know we have unconditional love, even if sometimes it looks like we don't get along.

3. Evil does exist in the world. Some of the characters in the series are bad people. Very bad. You don't want to know that standing next to you at the grocery yesterday was a racist, greedy, manipulative, dishonest son of a bitch. Don't even think about how he/she was a public official, business leader or member of law enforcement. It will drive you crazy.

I've been known to trust the wrong people sometimes. I am too nice and therefore get pushed around. I've been hurt and it's taking me a long time to get over it.

5 Things That I Am Not

2012-01-26T15:42:00.001-05:00

I'm in a bad, bad mood. Let's blame it on the grey, cloudy, wet, cold, sucky weather that we have in Louisville in January. This is why I could never live in Portland or Seattle. Or Alaska. I am useless when we go for days without seeing the sun, when you can't tell if it is 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. because every hour in between is colored in the same shade of grey. So bad moods make me doubt my very existence and not any person or thing can keep me from making a list of all of the things I am not.

1. I am not interesting. I am the dullest person on the planet. Say something fascinating to me and I'll reply "Duh." Or I might say, "Sure." That's all I've got. Don't expect any more.

2. I am not motivated. Do you think I should eat more vegetables and exercise more? Yeah, probably. Whatever.

3. I am not excited by anything. Free ticket to Paris? We could leave today? I don't know, I think I have a dentist appointment. I'll get back to you. Maybe.

4. I am not smart. I can't remember what I read in the news this morning. Multiplication tables? Are you kidding? TV show theme song lyrics from the 60s? Well, I might be able to do that.

5. I am not angry. I don't have any feelings at all. I just don't have the energy.

Writing this blog post is the best thing I've done all day.

My rules about food

2011-12-30T10:49:00.000-05:00

1. If it is consumed before 12 noon it must be real breakfast-type food. What is "real" you ask? Fruits, breads-pastries-cakes, cereals, egg-type stuff, bacon-ham-sausage, milk or yogurt. Hey, these are MY rules! (No pizza, but exceptions can be made if you've been up all night.)

2. If it contains cream cheese it is NOT sushi.

3. Anything that contains peanut butter is NOT dessert.

4. There's no such thing as bad chocolate, old chocolate or useless chocolate. Period.

5. Don't serve me food that I have to gnaw off a bone. Gross. Really.

6. My martinis are made with gin. They were invented that way. God save the queen.

Happy birthday

2011-12-06T13:47:00.000-05:00

I decided to repost this in honor of Hannah's 25th birthday this year.

I'm remembering the day she was born. It was cold but clear. I was nervous but prepared.

I approached motherhood in the same way that I approach every part of my life -- learn everything you can, dive in, and expect the best. I've never been disappointed.

Hannah's teenage years provided some of my best stories. Once I "stole" her car and hid it at a friend's house to teach her a lesson. It took her less than 5 hours to find it and steal it back. She told me that she used to sneak out of her bedroom window by climbing out onto the roof so I asked her to use that same skill to clean the gutters. And then there were the boys. Some of them were crazy, some of them were too old but I'm proud to say that she brought them all home anyway for me to meet.

The year she turned 18 and I turned 50 (less than a month apart) we celebrated by going to get tatoos together. It was her first and my only.

Today she turns 22. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's a fascinating person. And I love her very much.

You can't make this up

2011-11-14T14:54:00.001-05:00

This is a true story. That means it really happened.

We'd had a seriously depressing week so going out to dinner on a Thursday night was our solution to the blues. It didn't hurt that the local restaurant we chose had special drink prices. Didn't hurt at all.

I ordered a drink but C. decided not to. After the appetizers and during the entree she changed her mind. The cosmopolitan was promptly delivered. She sipped, then began coughing into her napkin. I asked "You okay honey?" like the kind and considerate girlfriend I am.

"Nope," she said, as she showed me the sliver of glass in the napkin. That's right, it was a SLIVER OF GLASS! (Reminder: This is a true story.) Fortunately there was no blood.

The waiter came over, took one look, and dashed off to get the manager. Meanwhile, C. started sending text messages to the attorneys we know. Hey, it never hurts!

The manager did the right thing -- our meal was free. But I had a dilemma -- I'd planned to pay with a credit card and I really wanted to leave our excellent waiter a tip. (And the attorneys advised us to get a receipt.) So the waiter gave me a receipt for $1, I left a $10 tip and we decided to go to a different restaurant for dessert.

This is a true story. Did I say that already?

We arrived at restaurant #2, settled down with a specialty drink and dessert menu and made our selections. I broke my own rule and ordered a stupid-tini. This one was blueberry/vanilla infused something in a martini glass. Once again, C. didn't order a drink.

I took one sip and decided it tasted like cough syrup. C. sighed and said she'd drink it. I ordered a REAL MARTINI, you know, the one made with gin and vermouth. We also ordered two very delicious desserts. (This is the part of the story where you're starting to wonder if we found glass isn't it? We didn't. Keep reading.)

The desserts were great, my martini was great, but the blue drink still tasted like cough syrup so C. didn't finish it. The waiter brought the check.

"I noticed you didn't like the drink so I didn't charge you for it," she said. "How sweet! Thank you!" we replied. I gave her my credit card.

Moments later, the waiter returned. "I have bad news," she said and sat down. "I ran the wrong check on your card. I'm so sorry for this mistake. I voided it but it will take 72 hours for the credit to appear. You don't have to pay. Your drinks and desserts are free."

"Noooooo, you can't do that!" we squealed. And so we had to tell her the whole story of the evening. "I have to have a receipt to tip you," I insisted. "And besides, this is too strange so we just can't let you not charge us."

We struck a compromise. She didn't charge us for the blue drink and gave us 50% off the rest of the check. I tipped her $10.

Final note: There have been no indications that C. ingested any glass. Attorneys were told to stand down.

You're invited to dine out with us any time.

14 reasons why Baby Boomers are the coolest generation

2011-11-02T13:55:00.001-04:00

Instead of focusing on how much society has in common with those upstarts, those youthful trend-setters the Millennials,
I think we should pay more attention to the generation that INVENTED cool, the Baby Boomers. Here's my own quiz.

1. Do you know all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song? You do? Well, how about the Patty Duke Show? Really? Then do you know all of Captain Kirk's lines in the STAR TREK episode "The Trouble With Tribbles?" I didn't think so.

2. Did you ever deliver a daily newspaper on your bicycle? No? Did you help someone deliver bulk copies of your small town's weekly paper in a fire-engine red Pontiac GTO with an outta sight 8-Track Stereo while you listed to "Motown Hits from the 60s?" Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

3. Did you ever get a free play on a pinball machine? Did you ever get so many free plays that it took you over an hour to finish? That's a lot of gaming entertainment for a quarter people and it took manual dexterity back then. We had to STAND UP to play and use both hands to push those little buttons. And banging your hips into the machine to relocate the ball too, remember that? Good times.

4. Did your house have a phone on the kitchen wall? Did you spend hours talking to your school friends every night? Did you stretch the cord of the phone so that you could get into the closet for some privacy? Did your Mom yell "Get off the phone, someone might be trying to call!" in that voice that used to make you so mad ...

5. Did you have a pen pal? In 5th Grade I had that one who lived in Colorado and she was so boring that I finally starting making stuff up about my life to get a reaction. I told her that since I lived in Kentucky I had a horse farm and about 100 thoroughbreds then she wrote back saying "I have a horse too! His name is Ginger!" and I stopped writing after that.

6. Was your first job 1) lifeguard, 2) babysitter or 3) clerk at your parents' hardware store? Because, dude, that's all there was. Well, maybe you mowed lawns for money but that's not like a job in the real world where you have to show up on time and do exactly what other people tell you to do exactly the way they want you to do it.

7. This is the one serious question I will mimic directly from question #7 on the Millennial quiz because this is not a funny issue. I think marrying people from other races is awesome cool, not just for the couple but for society at large. If you don't agree with me you shouldn't be following my blog. For real.

8. Were you ever arrested for being in a protest? Or expelled from school for leading a sit-in? Or called to the principal's office for posting an angry letter on the bulletin board about the school dress code which required girls to wear skirts but allowed boys to wear blue jeans? And did your principal tell you that if you didn't stop being so outspoken that he'd never write a college recommendation for you and to just think about that little lady -- how would your mother feel about THAT?

9. Did you ever write a message in the back of a high school yearbook? And did you go through every single page in the book and sign your photographs whether you were in the band photo or the chess club photo or in one of those goofy candid shots behind a bunsen burner in the chemistry lab? And did your friends do that in your yearbook? Hey, let's do this online and call it Facebook!

10. Did you ever go to church camp? Or sing in a children's or youth choir? Or hang out with the hippie priest who had a van and a guitar and a beard and a wicked record collection that he'd bring out when we all came over to the parish house to learn about how Jesus was really a radical if you thought about it?

11. Was your household more like "Leave it to Beaver" or "My Three Sons?" Or was your mom both widowed and divorced and everyone had to pull his/her own weight and "don't you girls do what I did" and don't ever pack a suitcase so heavy that you can't lift it by yourself because don't expect some man to carry it for you, by god.

12. How old were you when you finally broke down and decided to get a tattoo? And did you agonize about whether to have a symbol from another language or something feminine like a tiny rosebud with vines entwined around it? Or did you decide to go all out and get your dog's name put on your forearm? Because damn, that was a great dog and I cried when we had to put him down.

13. Did you have your ears pierced by your friend's older sister in their upstairs bathroom during that slumber party in 8th grade? And did she use an ice cube to numb it but it really didn't work very well and it hurt like hell and didn't heal because sterilizing a sewing needle over a flame isn't the right way to do it?

14. The first three times you voted in a presidential election did the other candidate win because this country is going to hell and nobody seems to listen to liberals? And are you STILL pissed off because the Equal Rights Amendment was never ratified and Generation X and Generation Y and the Millennials don't even understand how it used to be for women, gay people and people of color?

YOUR SCORE: You'll have to figure this out on your own.

Bibbidy, bobbidy balderdash!

2011-11-01T13:07:00.000-04:00

I attended a conference in Orlando a few weeks ago. And, because of the location, we decided to tack on a vacation for a week at Disney World, the so-called happiest place on earth.

I didn't expect the princesses.

Because we were there during October most of the kids were pre-schoolers and I started noticing that many of the girls were wearing Disney Princess costumes. Not only that, they were wearing makeup and glitter and their hairdos were NOT those that normal 4-year-old girls wear around the house. Then I found out about Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique where parents can pay $50 to $189 (and up) for a full makeover for their daughters.

I thought I would lose my mind. Don't get me wrong, dressing up is really, really fun and I've worn my share of princess costumes in my life but the Disney Princess trend makes me worry that we're encouraging a whole generation of girls to be overly concerned about how they look.

Go ahead, argue with me.

Housekeeping

2011-09-13T17:44:00.001-04:00

I want a clean house.

I want the floors polished and waxed until they are shiny enough to see my reflection. I want the windows cleaned inside and out until the birds are so confused that they think that they are open.

I want every surface to be dust-free. I want the bathrooms to be spic and span and sanitized. I want the kitchen cabinets to look brand-new.

I want all traces of dog hair removed from the upholstery and the carpeting. I want my house to have the faint smell of fresh flowers (that really does comes from fresh flowers in the house).

And I want this every day.

Sigh.

Sometimes you just need to follow

2011-09-06T13:18:00.000-04:00

I've been reading a lot about Leadership with a capital "L" and what it means and how you develop qualities that make people good Leaders.

But what makes a good follower? Do we need lessons in becoming good Followers? What are the key qualities to develop in order to reach your highest following potential? Here are some I'm considering:

1. Don't ask questions. Questions interrupt the flow of the Leader's directions. S/he's already told you everything you need to know.
2. Don't speak. Talking will just slow everything down. It's okay to say "yessir" or "yessym" or "understood" but conversation isn't really encouraged.
3. Listen hard. Instructions will be given to you. When you don't know which of the conflicting orders to follow, choose the last one you were given. If you are wrong, more instructions will be given, and in a louder voice.
4. Wait. Moving ahead to the next task too early is not allowed. Sometimes this means you will have nothing meaninful to do. Use that time for self-reflection.
5. Keep your ideas to yourself. When it is time to share, you'll be allowed to do that in groups of 3 to 5 and everyone will have a turn. You may have an opportunity to stand up and tell the whole group what you discussed, but remember that it's rude to report anything that you, personally shared.
6. Relax. As a follower, you aren't expected to worry about anything.

Unstuck

2011-08-29T12:26:00.003-04:00

Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you.

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness these days. And realizing that forgiving is a solitary and lonely activity. No one really sees you doing it. They only see what you're not doing.

But the activity of letting go of anger takes time and energy and more than a little bit of patience. It takes finding the crevice in myself where I tucked a memory, a feeling, that disappointment and the bloody damage still remaining and hauling it out into the light and looking at it and yelling "that was then and this is now" until my voice is raw.

That was then.

This new situation doesn't know about what happened in that other time in that other place. This new unhappiness reminds me of darkness and drowning and feeling trapped but it isn't the same. I don't have to go back there. I don't have to go back there. I don't have to go back there.

The challenge that remains is to sift through the grains of sand, find the ones marked with your face, and hand them to you. Then look down at the rocky path and walk away.

Why I bought a convertible and other mysteries

2011-08-10T16:45:00.001-04:00

My children have grown into confident and competent adults living (mostly) on their own. So when my son started looking for a car he said "Mom, you should just give me yours."

The car in question was a 10-year-old Honda Civic 4-door automatic with 95,000 miles on it. I offered to sell it to him for half its bluebook value (I thought I knew what his savings account looked like) and he was online in an instant, checking the value and checking his bank account.

"I'll be ready once I get my summer job," he announced.

So I started looking for another car.

This would be the first car that I really didn't have to "share." I wouldn't have to drive the kids to school. It didn't need four doors. Hell, it didn't need four SEATS. It could be sporty. It could even be a convertible.

What was I thinking? I'd driven frugal, responsible Hondas for most of my life.

My first car, a 1963 Oldsmobile F85, was crashed and replaced by a 1964 Chevrolet Nova which I drove for two years. The radio was AM, there was no air conditioning. Three-on-a-tree was what people called 3-speeds on the column back then. The car was wonderfully retro (even then) and I sold it for $500 (exactly what I had paid for it) to someone who begged me to sell it to them.

After that was a succession of Hondas purchased because they had the best gas mileage, reliability and resell value out there.

Sportscars and convertibles have neither good gas mileage nor resell values. Clearly, I was going through another in a series of midlife crises.

I'm going to blame it on the motorcycle.

A few years ago, after my 11-year relationship broke up, I fell hard for a woman with both a master's degree and a motorcycle. (We were married last year in Massachusetts, by the way.) I never thought I'd like riding on the back of a motorcycle but I was wrong. It is heavenly. I couldn't wait for the next ride. I love the feeling of the open sky and the sounds and smells that you just don't get inside an air-conditioned car.

I considered learning to ride my own motorcycle but then thought about convertibles instead. I didn't have to learn a new skill or get a separate license -- and I could drive it every single day.

I bought another Honda. Meet my Bluebird: Honda S2000. And yes, she makes me very happy.

I was on my way to becoming a domestic goddess, then I set the oven on fire

2011-08-08T17:07:00.003-04:00

This weekend found me organizing, cooking and cleaning around the house and garage. Here's the list of accomplishments:

- Cooked Saturday breakfast of eggs, biscuits and homemade apple butter
- Finished (and folded!) the laundry
- Made a batch of tomato sauce from our Roma tomatoes
- Cleaned bathrooms
- Cleared out garage (almost) before the new garage-door installers arrive
- Sewed on missing button
- Assembled and baked three delicious tomato pies

I was feeling pretty good about myself until it was time to take the tomato pies out of the oven. They were in aluminum pie plates for freezing. I don't know what happened, but one pie decided to flip nearly upside down before I knew it. Tomatoes, cheese and stuff landed inside the oven. I turned the oven off and with my spatula I lifted the largest pieces off the oven floor and threw them in the sink. Half the pie was gone. The rest became lunch.

Sunday morning I started making blueberry muffins. I turned the oven on to pre-heat and headed to the basement to grab blueberries out of the freezer. I'd forgotten that, while I'd cleaned up SOME of the spilled pie, I hadn't gotten all of it.

The oven started to smoke but I thought "It'll burn off and be fine." It was NOT fine. Not at all. The smoke got worse so I turned on the vent fan. It got worse. Finally I opened the oven to see flames, big ones.

Not to worry dear readers: We put the fire out safely and no real damage was done.

Domestic Goddess? A girl can dream, can't she?

Hipster blogs and faux journalism

2011-08-04T13:05:00.001-04:00

I get nearly 99% of my news and information online. I stopped subscribing to the local paper (sorry to the folks who recently lost jobs) and I don't have TV anymore. I don't have enough free time to loll about in coffeeshops (though I wish I did) so I don't see those free weeklies.

I do, however, subscribe to about 40 feeds and I typically catch up on my reading during lunchtime in my office. I am annoyed.

More and more I'm seeing self-indulgent rants and egregious errors in grammar (or more often, word choice) on what I've begun calling "hipster blogs." The writers there seem to believe that they invented the green movement, and that no one ever wrote about music before 2005. According to some of them cooking at home, urban gardening and riding a bicycle to work NEVER EXISTED until they became adults ~~last year~~ a decade ago.

Now I know why many of them hate us Baby Boomers for our self-righteous attitudes and confidence that we are the coolest generation.

Among the worst offenders, however, are the ones who see political corruption everywhere and choose to be snarky about it. It's as if they believe that power corrupts and that any elected official or anyone who heads a public agency must be, without question, dishonest, unethical or worse -- doing their job. These writers stand in the shadows and snipe about what should have happened when the water main broke or how animal services should be run.

Today I'm annoyed by those who are self-appointed community boosters. In their cheerleader tones they tout food trucks and film festivals, art fairs and farmers markets, gelato and small batch bourbon. Their attitude seems to be THE MEDIA WILL NEVER TELL YOU ABOUT THESE COOL THINGS SO IT'S UP TO ME TO KEEP YOU INFORMED.

Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon. I'd be willing to admit that.

Let's see how long this effort lasts

2011-08-03T13:08:00.002-04:00

Okay, I need to be positive.

I'm feeling the urge to blog again but I know how that goes.

The children are all grown up

2011-08-03T12:59:00.001-04:00

See? Adorable!

Coming out, again and again

2010-10-10T10:48:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow (October 11) is something called Coming Out Day. I happens every year. That means every year we have to come out again.

Okay people. I am lesbian. I lived a heterosexual life until I was 39 years old. I was married to a man. I bore two (wonderful) children (in the traditional way).

When my marriage ended I ended up in a women's spirituality group where many of the women were lesbian. For the first time I considered whether I might be gay. It was a two year process. I considered how my life would change.

I came out.

I've never looked back.

Best martini in Louisville?

2010-09-10T13:03:00.001-04:00

A friend recently asked me "who makes the best martinis in town?"

I don't know if I can answer the "best" question but I always like Jack's Lounge for a "cocktails only" kind of evening. Andrew and the other bartenders at Baxter Station also know their stuff. I can also be seen at the bar at North End Café with a martini in my hand.

The lobby bar at the Brown (of course) and the bar at Proof should not be overlooked.

I used to say that the bartender needed to be older than me to make a decent martini, but that rule doesn't apply anymore.

Oh god, am I THAT old?

Where did my mind go?

2010-09-07T12:53:00.002-04:00

There are days in which I am as focused as a laser beam and others, well, others like today.

There are too many things vying for my attention, and maybe that's the problem. Not one of those "things" is big enough or noisy enough or (dare I say?) important enough to get me to pay attention for more than a few minutes.

Trying now to pay close attention.

Wish lists revisited

2010-08-24T16:11:00.003-04:00

I used to make entire posts out of Wish Lists and it may be time to do that again. Only this time I think I won't post lists of things I want to BUY, I'll post lists of things I want to DO.

1. Finish painting the house
There's some woodwork still to do and a planned mural in the kitchen that we haven't started. And let's not forget almost the entire outside of the house. We've painted the front but not the other three sides.

2. Go to Greece
The Overdue Book Club (yes,that is the name of the club) apparently takes trips together. At the last meeting they started talking about another trip -- Greece. Could you hear me squeal with delight just then?

3. Pay off my credit cards
In the grand scheme of things I don't really owe that much. It's just that it feels so much better to be free of credit card debt that I'm anxious to be there again soon. Of course, children in college and trips to Greece make that harder than it used to be.

Cafe au lait

2010-08-22T11:00:00.002-04:00

What does it say about me that I've started to drink my coffee with cream?

Actually, I am using half and half (unless there's a sale on heavy whipping cream) and I don't use it in every single cup -- yet. But I know I'm headed in that direction. One of my co-workers keeps half and half in the office refrigerator and told me to use it whenever I want but I haven't -- yet.

My routine is this: I drink a cup or two of black coffee in the morning when I'm waking up, doing my morning online thing and getting dressed for work. Then, when I'm ready to leave I get out the travel mug, pour in sugar and half and half, top it off with coffee and head out. Sugar. Did I mention sugar?

Yeah, I've turned into my mother. Coffee with cream and sugar please.

Did I mention that I got married?

2010-08-21T10:19:00.003-04:00

Of course I didn't. While I'm not opposed to marriage at all, it's weddings and the hoo-haa that surrounds them that I dislike.

I am very much in love and very happy in this relationship so when the subject of marriage came up I readily agreed. The fact that same-sex marriage is not legal in this state just meant that we needed to be more creative in how we were going to do this.

We combined the wedding with our vacation to Provincetown in July. Massachusetts makes it so easy - you show up, file some papers, give them a check, come back three days to pick up the form you need the officiant to sign and then you have 60 days to get the thing signed and turned into the state. A week later, two copies of the certificate arrive in the mail. Of course, by that time, vacation is over and you're back in your home state where they still stare at you if you hold hands in public.

So, because I hate weddings, I didn't make such a big deal out of it. We'd love to do a party/reception here to celebrate (as long as it doesn't look like a wedding reception) and will probably do that before the end of the year.

Congratulations to us.

Well, that was a good idea

2010-08-19T16:31:00.002-04:00

The last post was over a month ago. I had fully intended to write more. Really I had.

So now I'm going to do that.

I promise.

Back from the brink

2010-07-11T10:40:00.003-04:00

I have been so busy for the past, oh, YEAR, that I've had little time to think or write or keep up with friends.

I feel very guilty.

Yes, there have been meaningful Facebook and Twitter exchanges (yeah, right) and some incredibly deep online chats (uh huh) and even a few nights where I actually had face to face conversations and glasses of wine. But nothing like what I SHOULD be doing.

I have excuses, really.

A new relationship, a demanding work schedule, a new residence, dogs (who knew they took more time than cats?), a garden that I'm completely ignoring, addictions to strong coffee and dry white wine.

And, to top it all off, I think I'm turning into an introvert! I find that I am needing good long stretches of alone time in order to reset my equilibrium. Alone. No one else in the house. Nothing to DO (that I don't want to do). And those times are hard to find. The boy-child is home from college. My partner doesn't have a full-time job. We let the house-cleaner go to save money.

That means that there's always a floor to sweep, a weed to pull, someone who wants to talk, a dog who puts a toy in my lap.

Hello tiny pink elephant squeeky toy. Yes, puppy, I will play with you now.

Satisfied with my work

2010-07-07T10:52:00.004-04:00

What I did this summer. See all the photos here.

Resting soon

2010-07-07T10:49:00.002-04:00

Here's what I want to do next:

- sleep until noon
- read good books
- go to the river and sleep in a hammock

Resolutions for 2010

2009-12-28T16:37:00.003-05:00

I completed most of my resolutions last year. The one major exception was "plant a garden." I think I'll keep that on this list for 2010:

1. Plant a garden
2. Remember to breathe
3. Laugh (a lot)
4. Love (a lot)
5. Make promises and keep them
6. Cherish commitments
7. Learn to do something new
8. Blog more, Facebook less

I'm back, sort of

2009-06-25T21:25:00.002-04:00

My fish Priscilla died today. Actually, he probably died last night. RIP.

Also dead today: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

I'm in love

2009-01-23T22:04:00.002-05:00

I'm in love with a house. A condo actually. But I think I'm crazy. This is a totally irrational kind of love, the kind that might turn out badly and break my heart.

You see, this condo is in the park. Really, really in the park. You can see the statue of Daniel Boone from the sun room (notice how I wrote SUN ROOM! and squealed a bit). Built in the 20s, it has character, charm and an elevator. That means I can "age in place" -- I'm listening to you B -- even though it's on the second floor.

It also has a hefty price tag. Which is why my heart will probably be broken. I need to think. I need to find the calculator that I already packed away in a box somewhere. I need to talk to people. People like friends. People like bankers. People like friends who are bankers.

I need to see it again. I need to turn on all the faucets at once and open all the windows to find something wrong with the place. I need to show up at dinner time to see if the neighbors cook Indian food every night or if noise carries across the marble tile (MARBLE TILE!) in the hallway.

But for today, I'm in love.

Something is happening

2009-01-16T12:34:00.002-05:00

I got an offer on the house this week.

I've been spending lots of time with friends.

I've been reading, writing and listening to music.

My life feels full. I feel happy. I feel optimistic.

20 Things About Me

2009-01-04T18:06:00.008-05:00

1. I worked on a documentary film crew when I was a teenager. When I was 19 I stopped and went to college.
2. My favorite color is red. Purple comes in second.
3. The Rolling Stones will always be my favorite band. The song, "Honky Tonk Woman," heard on a jukebox, changed my life.
4. I like black and white photography best.
5. I wore Earth shoes. I've also worn 3-inch heels. What was I thinking?
6. I used to be a vegetarian but now I eat almost anything. But not oysters.
7. To me, ice cream is the perfect food. If you add fruit and a cookie it counts as a meal.
8. I dropped out of graduate school. It was a combination American Studies/Women's Studies PhD program. Sometimes I feel sad about it.
9. I own a vintage fur coat.
10. I used to be a bartender. I'm disturbed by the trend of serving almost any cocktail in a martini glass and calling it "stupid-tini" or something.
11. I have voted for a republican, but it wasn't for anything important.
12. I love Manhattan. If I were wealthy, I'd live there.
13. I need nitrous oxide (laughing gas) to have my teeth cleaned.
14. I had an imaginary playmate until I was 3. Her name was Coco.
15. I took French in both high school and college and I all remember is how to spell hors d'oeuvres. Well, that and merde.
16. I didn't come out as a lesbian until I was 39 years old. Better late than never.
17. I want to learn how to drink bourbon.
18. I get seasick very easily -- on the Ohio River, on Lake Michigan, in Puget Sound -- this tells me I should never book a cruise, or that I was a pirate in a former life.
19. I drive a blue convertible.
20. The most famous person I ever shook hands with was Robert Kennedy. It was a long time ago.

Resolutions

2008-12-31T10:24:00.002-05:00

My resolutions for 2009:

1) Learn to drink bourbon
2) Get a fish for a pet
3) Play, laugh and dance
4) Take pictures
5) Read, write and create
6) Celebrate the small things
7) Trust
8) Plant a garden
9) Say "thank you" a lot
10) Stop waiting

My new girlfriend is named Olga

2008-12-12T14:34:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry Victoria (Secret), but you'll never caress my breasts again. Despite wooing me with your models (Tyra and Heidi) and the names of your products (Body and Ipex), I've found someone new. Her name is Olga.

I love her because she is so ... available. She's just where I want her, in all the major department stores, and is frequently, umm, marked down. You know what that means. That I'll be able to enjoy more of her.

Victoria, you broke my heart more than once. Your styles and colors were lacking in my size. Oh, I know I'm not 34B and I don't need pushing up but is that any reason NOT to offer me the excitement I crave?

Don't hate me. We'll still be friends. It's just that I love Olga now.

100 Things

2008-12-11T15:20:00.002-05:00

Picked this up from some other blog. The items in BOLD are ones I've done. What about you?

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo (you don't want me to sing)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (does a calf count?)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (depends on whether this means baseball or not)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (spoken word version of "House of the Rising Sun")
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant

It still screams

2008-11-22T09:25:00.006-05:00

I woke up this morning to learn that Tom Gish, former editor and publisher of my hometown newspaper, The Mountain Eagle, had died at age 82.

Tom and Pat Gish were among the adults whom I admired growing up in Whitesburg. They were journalists and business owners and the parents of high school classmates of mine. Pat, in particular, was a role model for girls at the time. She and Tom were partners in the true sense of that word.

They allowed us on the high school newspaper staff to use their offices and darkroom and their typesetting and layout equipment -- as long as we were out of the way when it was deadline time for them. Later, when Appalshop moved in next door to their office and I was there almost everyday taking myself too seriously while learning to make documentary films, I would learn by observation how authentic and serious professionals worked day-in and day-out putting out a weekly community paper that would later become famous, almost legendary.

I was living in Whitesburg and working at Appalshop in 1974 when the paper was firebombed. I showed up at the Gishes' home with dozens of others to help get the paper out that week. There WAS a paper that week -- and the masthead had been changed to "It STILL Screams."

Rest in peace, Tom Gish. You're a legend.

Too butch?

2008-11-21T16:19:00.002-05:00

I ran across the Gender Analyzer Web site today and it told me

We think http://dottcomments.blogspot.com is written by a man (77%)

Well, what do you think of that?

Why I'm not writing here

2008-11-20T17:31:00.002-05:00

I should write more.

So why haven't I been writing here? I realize that I've been writing other places, like Twitter and Facebook and I have a lively email correspondence going with several different people. So, I HAVE been writing, just not here.

I feel guity, like I'm neglecting someone/something.

No I will not follow you

2008-11-17T17:18:00.003-05:00

Today I received this note in my email box:

Angie Milhous (AngieMilhous) is now following your updates on Twitter.
Check out Angie Milhous's profile here:
http://twitter.com/AngieMilhous
You may follow Angie Milhous as well by clicking on the "follow" button.

But Angie, sorry to let you down like this babe, but I will not be following you. I won't follow you because you're not a real Twitterer and you cannot spell.

Birthday season has begun

2008-11-03T20:25:00.002-05:00

The first birthday card arrived in the mail which means that my birthday season has officially begun.

I like cards. Gifts, not so much. Especially this year, when I am worried about having to pack and move (soon, I hope).

There is one gift I would appreciate. Your vote. Just get out there and do your duty. I'm not even going to tell you who to vote for. Just do it.

I don't know what to say

2008-10-22T19:07:00.004-04:00

So I've been thinking about what I call this ... my situation. Most couples would say they are getting a divorce and then their friends and acquaintances would express sympathy or support or secretly speculate about whether an affair was involved.

Relatives would ask "how are the kids taking it" and then start asking the most personal of all question "how will you make out, you know, financially?"

My case is more complicated. "Breakup" is just not an adquate word. That's what I'd say if we'd been dating -- rather than sharing our entire lives for over 14 years. But since we're not married, divorce is not the proper term either.

Not that there isn't tons of paperwork and attorneys and notaries involved. We've had to change our wills and our medical powers of attorney. We've had to update our insurance beneficiaries. And then there's putting the house up for sale and (eventually) change of address forms.

And small things too. She had an extra key to my car. And I had CDs and books that she cherishes stashed among my things. And looming ahead is the big box of photographs from when people actually printed photos (instead of publishing them online) to go through.

So what do I call this? How do I answer questions? Change is hard, and sometimes there are no words for it.

Baby I'm back

2008-10-09T19:03:00.003-04:00

Been away from the blogger world for a bit but I trust y'all have followed on Twitter, Flickr and Facebook. Here's a list to catch you up.

1. Fish
2. Altitude
3. Contractor
4. Insanity

Twitter y'all

2008-09-08T19:45:00.000-04:00

www.twitter.com

Suddenly single

2008-08-23T15:27:00.001-04:00

I'm not going to say much here except that the relationship is over, the house is going on the market and I'm incredibly sad about the whole thing.

Moving on

2008-08-08T11:39:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the wine turns to vinegar in the bottle.

Food we don't miss

2008-07-26T13:37:00.000-04:00

Last week I found this list of "Discontinued Food ... that I really miss" published by somebody named Roger.

I am mystified. What ARE these things? Franco-American® Superiore™ Hearty Twists? Betty Crocker® 2-step preparation Noodles Romanoff?

To be fair, I have heard of a few items on the list, like Five Flavor Life Savers® with lemon and lime and Tan M&M's®.

In 2005 the boy-child really, really liked Kraft® Easy Mac™ Nacho Cheese flavor -- for a total of 97 seconds. But COME ON people, does the world really need State Fair® low fat corn dogs?

I didn't think so.

Batman needs more women

2008-07-21T18:11:00.003-04:00

I went to see THE DARK KNIGHT over the weekend and while I enjoyed the movie I left feeling that something was missing.

Thanks to Bitch Ph.D. I now know why. This movie, like so many others, failed the Bechdel Rule. You'll want to read the entire post, but briefly the Bechdel Rule states that movies should have:

1) at least two women
2) who talk to each other
3) about something other than a man.

Oddly enough, MAMMA MIA! might just pass but I haven't seen it so I can't say for sure.

Team Obama

2008-07-20T22:17:00.003-04:00

Okay so I went to an Obama fundraiser last night (and yes, I made a contribution) but I couldn't be officially considered an Obama supporter until my Hillary bumpersticker was covered (thanks Belinda!).

Stuff I don't have in my kitchen

2008-07-10T21:47:00.002-04:00

Over at Accidental Hedonist there's a post about "stuff in my kitchen" which made me want to provide a list of "Stuff I don't have in my kitchen."

1. A toaster oven
2. A Kitchen Aid stand mixer
3. Le Creuset anything
4. Pyrex anything
5. A crock pot
6. A bread machine/rice cooker/fondue pot (or similar)

I do, however have these things:

1. Many things made by Cuisinart
2. Cupcake tins (4)
3. Cast iron skillets (2)
4. Knives that cost over $100 each (3)

What about you?

Dinosaur Eggs can kill you

2008-07-07T17:40:00.003-04:00

How many of YOU can say that you've been hit by a runaway motorized grocery cart?

I thought so.

Babycakes was minding her own business and I was making faces in the breakfast food aisle (the boy-child had requested something called "Dinosaur Eggs Oatmeal" which I did not want to been seen buying) when it happened. She was struck in the back by a cart driven by a 100-year-old woman. When she jumped out of harm's way, the motorized cart then rammed directly into our (regular) cart which then hit me full force, threatening to propel us and our Dinosaur Eggs all the way down the aisle.

I grabbed our cart to keep it from hitting me again when I realized that the driver still had her foot (hand? how do those things work?) on the throttle and that it was up to me to keep the rest of the shoppers from sudden death and dismemberment in front of the oatmeal and Cheerios.

So what did I do? I squealed of course. Loudly.

"Make it stop!" I think I said. Babycakes didn't squeal (she doesn't squeal) but calmly and cooly reached over and did something that made the cart stop moving. The 100-year-old driver looked around, re-adjusted her oxygen delivery system and corrective lenses, hit the gas (electricity?) and drove away.

And, in case you're wondering, the Dinosaur Eggs squealed too. Just listen.

Home again

2008-06-30T10:41:00.002-04:00

I'm still tired, even after I slept well for two nights running and took a long nap yesterday.

Today I'll be doing some work from home plus taking care of piles of laundry and mail. I tried to schedule a massage -- no luck.

I am appreciating home cooked meals, my own bed and my family.

Whadusay?

2008-06-18T09:19:00.003-04:00

This list of the 100 most mispronounced words and phrases reminds me of my Southern roots [pronounced RUTZ].

My favorite: Heineken remover.

Brazen is a very, very good thing

2008-06-12T11:43:00.002-04:00

Can I just tell you (again) how much I am in love with Penelope Trunk and Brazen Careerist? I love her writing style. I love what she writes about. I love that she is honest with her readers about her life. I even love that her name isn't really Penelope, because, come on -- if we could choose another name for ourselves wouldn't we pick something like Penelope?

I follow her blog. I follow her on Twitter. I am "linked in" with her. Now I want to meet her and have a glass of wine and a conversation.

Call me girl. We have a lot to talk about.

Consuming ...

2008-06-01T20:31:00.002-04:00

- LOST season finale
- Top Chef (the recent episode made me want a steak)
- Krispy Kreme donuts
- Limes, tonic and Bombay (Honey, I think we're out of ice)
- Brazen Careerist (I think I'm in love with Penelope Trunk, or whatever her real name is)
- Strawberries from the farmer's market
- Bill Bryson, who writes the best books to read on airplanes

"Snap out of it!"

2008-05-26T13:31:00.003-04:00

I'm feeling better now, thanks.

Severity scale: 4
Length of this episode: 2+ months
Most noticable symptom: Irritability
Treatment: Isolation, self-talk, support of loved ones

No, I don't really talk about it. Depression has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Like most people, I didn't recognize what it was. For me, it's a brain fog and a physical fatigue. It comes, it goes, I deal.

Yeah, I'm one of those.

Grounded, with meatballs

2008-05-23T20:12:00.003-04:00

Lovely dinner tonight (spinach spaghetti, meatballs and sauce, garlic bread, salad) with the boy-child and babycakes.

The boy-child was a major kitchen slave tonight. He cooked almost everything. I just supervised.

Maybe we should take his car away and ground him more often. Then he has no choice but to spend quality time with us.

Disappointment

2008-05-07T21:17:00.002-04:00

It's been a week, both professionally and personally. But I don't blog about work, so this will be a post about personal stuff. As usual.

- I have been sleeping. But the dreams are vivid and catastophic. Planes crashing into bridges. Strange people asking favors. These are dreams that mean something, I'm sure. I just don't know what.

- I have not been sleeping. My quiet time is filled with doubts and apprehensions. For most of my life I've paid close attention to the messages that aren't clearly stated. These are among those. I have fear.

- Images are everywhere. They are visions. They are colors. They are things I have not yet encountered. I pay attention. I write them down. I tell others, when they will listen. I tell those who can understand. The rest ... well, I'm not sure about the rest.

- Emotions are very close to the surface right now. I search for the stories to tell. Those stories have always been helpful to me. But, today, not so much. I'm not sure where the words are.

- I need to remember to say thank you to the people who are around me. I frequently forget to do that. I'm trying. Thanks.

My ears are too close to my brain

2008-04-30T18:45:00.002-04:00

You know how people say drivers shouldn't talk on cell phones because they become too distracted? This is so true for me.

But why is that? I can talk to passengers in my car without getting too distracted. I can listen to the radio and I don't get too distracted.

So why is it that I can't talk and/or listen on a cell phone without completely forgetting that I'm driving a vehicle?

While driving home today I realized this (before I wreaked any havoc) and quickly put the phone away.

I'm voting for Hillary

2008-04-23T18:31:00.003-04:00

In my neighborhood the Obama signs are sprouting faster than the dandelions. And I keep getting invited to more and more Obama campaign events.

But I'm for Hillary Clinton.

It's not that I don't like Barack Obama. He's an appealing choice. He'd be easy to support. And if he becomes the nominee I will work hard to see that he gets elected.

But I'm for Hillary.

Barack Obama is like the new kid who moved into town during his sophomore year. He's likable and smart and is elected class president even though he's only been at that school for two months. By his senior year he is Student Council President and King of the Prom. Did he work hard for those things or did he just get picked because he's a boy and we were fascinated by his biracial background?

Hillary Clinton is like my best friend's older sister. The one who explained the facts of life to us and who invited us to her Women's Consciousness Raising Group, even though we were only 12. She joined the Chess Club even though she was the only girl in it. She ran for class president too, but she only got enough votes to be secretary. But she kept working at it.

Hillary reminds me of that girl who finally made it to vice-president of the Student Council and the president was a boy who played football. There were no sports for girls back then -- unless you counted cheerleading or being a majorette for the marching band. But Hillary has thick ankles and doesn't care about those things anyway.

I'm for Hillary.

I think it's true that women have to work twice as hard as men to get to the same level of respect. We live in a sexist world. And I'm sure Barack was a very nice boy in high school. I'll bet he didn't have to work as hard as she did.

What's up with my brain?

2008-04-16T12:54:00.003-04:00

I left the house without my keys this morning.

But I never lock myself out. I never lose my keys. I don't leave my umbrella behind in a restaurant. My sunglasses break but they never get lost.

I was lucky that Babycakes stopped at Walgreens before she headed to work today. And that her cell phone was turned on when I called her. I stood on the porch for 5 minutes before I was rescued. Could have been much worse.

2008-04-06T12:15:00.002-04:00

About this video:
The Academy-Award® nominated animated short-film tells the story of a lonely inventor, whose colorless existence is brightened only by dreams of the carefree bliss of his youth.

By day, he is trapped in a dehumanizing job in a joyless world. But by night, he tinkers away on a visionary invention, desperate to translate his inspiration into something meaningful.

When his invention is complete, it will change the way people see the world. But he will find that success comes at a high price, as it changes himself, as well.

I deserve it

2008-04-02T21:01:00.002-04:00

Things I think I deserve:

- More than one sunny day in a row.
- Someone to agree with me at least once every day.
- Free tickets to something. Anything. Please.
- A meeting-free day at work.
- Absolution.
- A good night's sleep.

March musings

2008-03-25T19:13:00.002-04:00

- What the heck does "seed" mean to the NCAA? Why has this never been explained to me?

- According to my calendar, it is spring. Dammit. Act like it.

- Where did all of the new Indian restaurants come from all of a sudden?

- Why are democrats still campaigning? It's been over a year people. Figure it out. Nominate someone. Stop embarrassing us.

- I'd like some new entertainment that doesn't involve food, drink or listening to someone talk, sing or act. Kite flying comes to mind.

Peanut butter is not dessert

2008-03-10T17:33:00.002-04:00

If you want to read about what I ate last week while I was in Las Vegas attending a conference check out what my colleague Dana wrote on her food blog.

I have a lot of food rules but Dana and Jonathan were excellent sports and wonderful dining companions.

Al Watan in the house!

2008-03-02T12:48:00.002-05:00

Wonderful meal last night with Alex and Bay. Takeout from Al Watan.

- Hummus (both kinds)
- Babaganous (both kinds)
- Falafel
- Yogurt salad
- Arabic salad
- Grape leaves

Consuming ...

2008-02-20T19:32:00.003-05:00

Chicken Soup
What was going around finally took me down. My cure: Soup and television.

The Wire
HBO's landmark series about Baltimore is one of the best things I've seen in a while. I only started watching during season 4 and now I can't miss a second of season 5. I'm sad it's ending in two more episodes. Favorite character: Bubbles.

Letters from Iwo Jima
Wow. Ken Watanabe. Wow. He really is the last samurai. Wow.

Make Me A Supermodel
Okay, okay. I tried to resist Bravo's latest reality series but once I saw 15 minutes I had to DVR everything. And watch it more than once. I like the boys best. But I don't like the viewer voting part. Someone else judge please! I just like to watch.

Abject failure

2008-02-17T14:42:00.002-05:00

I tried hard to have a computer-free weekend.

But I woke up late this Sunday morning with itchy fingers and intense guilt over my lack of blogisity lately.

I've been READING blogs but I just haven't written anything. I think I will blame it on the writer's strike (solidarity forever) or laziness or the lack of vermouth in the house. I might also blame it on snow days, birthdays, long work days or a boring life.

Ready for weekend

2008-01-25T17:56:00.000-05:00

It's been a week. A really busy four day week.

Jury duty continued (I never got picked for a jury, dammit) plus I went to work every day. Before jury duty. After jury duty. During the waiting around time at jury duty. At lunch while on jury duty. There was work to be done. So I worked.

I think I hear a martini shaking ...

Films from 2007

2008-01-22T07:38:00.000-05:00

These are the films released in 2007 that I saw last year.

Atonement
Charlie Wilson’s War
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
The Golden Compass
Hairspray: The Movie
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I Am Legend
Into the Wild
Michael Clayton
A Mighty Heart
The Namesake
No Country for Old Men
Oceans 13
Peaceful Warrior
Pirates of the Caribbean 3:
Ratatouille
Sicko
Sweeney Todd
What Would Jesus Buy

Jury Duty: Day 3

2008-01-16T21:41:00.001-05:00

I was part of another voir dire panel today. This time 60 of us were questioned for more than two hours.

For a murder trial.

Again, the questions were personal -- "Has anyone in your family ever been a victim of a violent crime?" "Do you own guns? What do you use them for?" "Have you ever gotten into an argument with a stranger?" "Did you drive downtown for jury duty today? Do you ever feel nervous driving downtown?" and "Do you have any bumper stickers on your car?" (WTF?)

They didn't ask if we ever watched "Law and Order."

The process was fascinating. My fellow jurors were in a talkative mood and spilled their guts (and prejudices) to the court. Sometimes I was shocked at what they said. Several men bragged about the fistfights they'd been in. The gun owners were downright cocky. One man said "You don't have no right to ask about guns" but the judge politely explained that they certainly did have that right.

If we wanted to give our answers privately we were asked to "approach the bench" but we quickly learned that doing that would prolong the process so most people didn't.

I noticed that the prosecutor tried to be charming and funny while the defense team was deadly serious and professional. I'm sure that was a calculated tactic by both sides.

No, I wasn't picked. But, for the record, I'm not afraid of driving downtown and I have three stickers on my car: Yarmuth for Congress, a Human Rights Campaign "equal" sign and a rainbow squiggle.

Voir Dire

2008-01-16T21:20:00.000-05:00

Finally they called my juror number and I was allowed to leave the "big room" where all 400+ jury poolers must hang out until we're told to do something.

Yesterday afternoon about 40 of us were sent upstairs to a courtroom for "voir dire," which is pretty much a set of questions they ask to determine whether I'd be one of 13 lucky folks who would be chosen to sit on a real live jury. This was a criminal case. Robbery.

The attorneys for both the prosecution and the defense were there (two on each side). A police detective was there. The judge and the judge's staff were there. And the accused person was there.

The judge read the indictment and gave us some basic instructions then the attorneys took turns questioning us as a group. "Do you know anyone involved in this case?" "Have you ever been robbed yourself?" "If members of the police force testify in this case, would you be more or less likely to believe what they say over the testimony of other witnesses?"

Wow. Did that question get some interesting responses. Everything from "I hate cops" to "Police officers would know more than anyone else what really happened."

The attorneys watched us like hawks. They made notes about our answers and our facial expressions along with our genders, ages and ethnicity.

After about 90 minutes were were given a 45 minute break while they selected the jury for the case.

No, I was not picked.

I'm in the jury pool

2008-01-15T17:45:00.000-05:00

I reported for jury duty yesterday. If and when I am selected for a trial, I'm not supposed to tell anybody anything. But I haven't been, so I'll tell you what NOT being selected is like.

We showed up at 10:30 as instructed and had to scan the barcode (!) on our summons to check in. We were a well behaved crowd. We sat where we were told to sit. We watched a video. Someone in a Sheriff's uniform was pretending to be a comedian. Either that, or he was conducting an orientation. I'm not sure which.

Sometimes we just sat there doing nothing. Since I had been warned of this, I took a good book and my iPod.

Then the real business of jury duty started. The woman in charge said, "If I call your juror number, please leave this room, have some lunch and be back here at 1:30." Then she called out about 4 million numbers, none of them mine. When she was done she said, "The rest of you are excused for today. Call the number on your pamphlet after 5 p.m. to find out your check in time for tomorrow."

I went back to work.

Not exactly what I expected

2008-01-12T12:26:00.000-05:00

I had IntraLASIK surgery last Thursday. The procedure was painless and my doctor and his facility were top-notch. Today, two days after the surgery I have the best distance vision I've ever had in my life. The trees really do have individual leaves!

But (and this is a big but), I opted NOT to have the "monovision" version of the procedure where one eye is corrected for distance vision and the other for presbyopia or close up vision.

Now I wish I'd gone for monovision. Reading glasses will be required for most activities within my arm's length. And while my vision (both near and far) will improve somewhat during the next several months I can now "see" the value in going for the monovision ... maybe. Presbyopia occurs for most people as they age and even if I had corrected it now I would have needed reading glasses at some point anyway.

Sigh.

Are you a geek?

2008-01-03T14:51:00.000-05:00

I took the test.

Resolutions

2007-12-31T10:31:00.000-05:00

Instead of making new year's resolutions for myself I thought I'd once again make some helpful resolutions for other people.

Neighbors: Get rid of that new barking dog, the leaf blower and the car alarm. And tone down the American flag decor while you're at it.

Screenwriters Guild members: Hurry up and settle the strike (but be sure to get everything you're asking for). Did you hear the networks are planning a new reality show called "Falling Down with the Stars"?

Presidential Candidates: Watch your backs. You've been campaigning so long already that I'm afraid that some new, more interesting candidate will show up and walk away with the prize. Probably someone who won "Falling Down with the Stars."

Happy New Year everyone! What resolutions would YOU make for other people?

Looking back at 2007

2007-12-29T15:43:00.000-05:00

I can explain ... or maybe I can't. These posts seemed to make sense at the time.

Help me learn to pronounce ...

Good friends are like old socks.

When I got home last night I found Jeremy in our pantry ...

Did I mention it was BROKEN?

I was not on vacation.

Twice in my life I've accepted rides to my hotel from men I met on the plane.

I don't bet "exotics" ...

... her job in life was "to be purely decorative"

Sightings

2007-12-27T11:59:00.001-05:00

Dec. 24th, 2:33 p.m. -- Congressman John Yarmuth (D-KY) at my favorite wine and liquor store, Party Mart on Brownsboro Road. He was buying wine, but I couldn't tell what kind it was.

Dec. 23rd, 3:03 p.m. -- Republican Leader Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and his spouse Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao chatting with Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson (D) at Baxter Avenue Theatres. They were going in to see Charlie Wilson's War.

New traditions

2007-12-26T15:22:00.001-05:00

We decided NOT to pout and go with the flow this year and it worked out beautifully.

- No live tree. Tinsel is the way to go.
- We went to the movies and had Chinese food on Sunday instead of Christmas Day.
- We had bagels, lox and potato latkes on Christmas morning.
- Naps, leftovers and the entire Godfather saga on TV rounded out the day.

Remembering Moe

2007-12-20T15:55:00.000-05:00

Moe (aka "Moefus") was euthanized at the Cherokee Animal Clinic on December 20, 2007. She was 18 years old at the time of her death.

Born under an abandoned house on Jackson Street in Louisville circa Derby Day 1989, she was a free spirit, an adventurer and an entertainer. She was adopted by her human family a few days after a little girl said, "I dreamed I had a kitten named Moe."

Despite her small size (she never weighed more than six pounds in her entire life) Moe was a fearless hunter of birds and small mammals, spending long summer days in the woods behind her house on Ewing Avenue in the company of racoons, groundhogs, snakes and squirrels. She disliked dogs.

She once took an unannounced 10-day journey on foot from Crescent Hill to the Highlands and back, causing severe distress in her human family and the posting of numerous "LOST CAT" flyers. When asked why she left she said, "Meow (just wanted to see if I could find our old house)." She lost two pounds and suffered sunburned ears as a result of the long trip. She never travelled that far from home again.

She loved ice cream, Purina Cat Chow, and in her later years, Fancy Feast (the chicken varieties). Although she told everyone that her job in life was "to be purely decorative," her many hobbies included shedding, sharpening her claws on antiques and napping. In the months before her death, she learned to sing (Opera) with a strong contralto voice and began wearing her fur in dreadlocks, saying "Why the hell not? I'm old, I can do whatever I want."

She asked that her death notice NOT include the words "went to live on a farm" and that expressions of sympathy go to the North American Songbird Preservation Society ("... to help replace the hundreds I've eaten in my lifetime.")

She leaves behind her loving human family and many, many friends.

All I want for Christmas

2007-12-18T18:42:00.000-05:00

All I want for Christmas is peace on earth. Really. Don't you?

I know don't want another "thing" in my life. No sweaters. No socks. No new pajamas. And I have plenty of toys. Most of the time, Babycakes and I try to make a conscious effort to give experiences rather than things. This year we're not exchanging gifts. Besides, we just got a lovely new floor. And we're booked for a trip to Italy this fall.

So if you really, really have to get someone something for Christmas, here are some gift suggestions. Donate some cash to these worthy organizations:

The Center for Women and Families -- engages individuals and community in the elimination of domestic violence, sexual violence and economic hardship through service, education and advocacy. (This is the agency where Babycakes is a director. It's important work. Get out your checkbook.)

InKY Reading Series -- a monthly music and literature event held on the second Friday of the month at the Rudyard Kipling in Louisville, Kentucky. The reading series is a project of InKY, Inc., a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization. (We love us some poetry, fiction and music. This is grassroots and damn, that's good.)

Appalshop -- a multi-disciplinary arts and education center in the heart of Appalachia producing original films, video, theater, music and spoken-word recordings, radio, photography, multimedia, and books. (I spent my formative years there, honing a craft that is yet to reveal itself.)

I guarantee that none of these gifts will ever end up in a landfill.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2007-12-18T15:52:00.001-05:00

You Are a Tinsel Tree

For you, Christmas is no different than the rest of the year.
And this means you do things your own way - and continue to surprise people.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

New floor is here

2007-12-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

See the before and after photos.

I think I'll have a martini in his honor

2007-12-07T14:28:00.001-05:00

Becky's father died this week and today was the funeral. I've known Becky for a long time and always loved being around her dad. He loved people, told the best jokes and made the best martinis. I'm sure that's why he lived to be 97 years old. Goodbye Jeep, thanks for making the world a better place.

Genius?

2007-11-29T16:33:00.000-05:00

Lol Moe cat

2007-11-19T19:27:00.001-05:00

The Offishul Lolcat Builder of I Can Has Cheezburger?

Buy Nothing Day

2007-11-19T19:04:00.000-05:00

I'll be celebrating the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) by avoiding shopping. What will you do?

Bad backyard getting better

2007-11-17T16:54:00.001-05:00

The new fence went in today. It's lovely, don't you think? Makes me happy just to look at it.

Check out the before and after backyard pictures.

A winning day

2007-11-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

I spent yesterday at Churchill Downs with Becky (I did not take this picture) where we cashed tickets on EVERY SINGLE RACE.

Becky knows how to read a racing form and came prepared. Me? I just went down to the paddock and picked any horse that 1) was tall, 2) looked me in the eye, or 3) had a name I liked.

I don't bet a lot of money because I don't have a lot of money. But yesterday I was prepared to bet $8 on every race. My patterns was to make one bet "across the board" for $6 and $2 to win, place or show on a second horse. I don't bet "exotics" like daily doubles or exactas, but Becky does.

I cashed a ticket on every race. Every single one. I came home with about $30 more than I started with, even after paying for admission, a program and a bloody mary.

Best bet of the day: Creative Design paid $38 on my $6 across the board bet.

Fresh sap ... rising

2007-11-08T14:33:00.000-05:00

"Suddenly you find at the age of fifty that a whole new life has opened before you as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you." (Agatha Christie 1891-1976)

Happy birthday to me (yesterday).

Vote!

2007-11-05T16:50:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is election day. Those of us in Kentucky are electing a governor and in Louisville we're approving a new tax to support our libraries. At least I HOPE we are approving the library tax -- I can't imagine why anyone would vote against it.

So you should vote. Yes, you. It'll be good practice for next year's presidential election.

Birthday season has begun

2007-11-03T14:59:00.000-04:00

I usually don't celebrate a birthDAY, for me it is a birthday SEASON.

This year the season began with Babycakes bringing home a case of wine (okay, so that's more of a present for all of YOU who will be expected to visit during the season).

Then Kelly gave me this wonderful jewelry she made.

Today we had brunch at Wild Eggs then headed over to Whole Foods to order our free-range turkey for Thanksgiving. I found a lovely scarf (and Babycakes bought it for me).

This afternoon I'm shopping for new socks and underwear. Any activity is instantly festive and birthday season-y if you try hard enough.

And the Martini Slut party will be on Nov. 10. Y'all come!

Halloween recap

2007-11-01T17:10:00.000-04:00

We "served" about 500 trick-or-treaters this Halloween although the count is never accurate because Babycakes always gives out more than one piece of candy per child. I am much more stingy.

By the end of the night I was offering two pieces to anyone who would sing. The best performance was by three eight-year-olds who sang a very loud version of "Happy Birthday." Adorable.

"Princess" seems to be the most popular costume, but only for girls. Some princesses had wings, so they became "Angel Princess" and the older girls favored "Dead Princess."

"Pirate" was a very popular choice for boys and girls and for all ages. Some of the homemade pirate costumes were quite good. I give full credit to Johnny Depp for making piracy cool again.

There were plenty of superheros (mostly boys) wearing store-bought costumes with built-in muscles. It's odd to see a three-year-old muscular Spiderman. Lots of store-bought ghoul costumes and masks too, but I also counted a number of kids with very, very well-done makeup.

Most embarrassing moment: When we told someone he looked a little old to be trick-or-treating and the child with him said "He's autistic." Ouch.

Ruffing with the majors

2007-10-25T18:59:00.000-04:00

I'm taking Bridge lessons on Wednesday nights from 7 to 9. It's hard. Really hard. Most of the time we listen to lectures.

Our Bridge teacher said, "I'll diagram this on the board for you so you'll understand," to which the class replied, "No, we won't. Don't bother."

"Oh, come on," teacher persists. "East leads with the 10 D because it's the fourth in his longest and strongest and challenger ruffs it with a low trump so that later he can get back to the board to develop clubs. If he doesn't develop clubs now everyone knows he'll go down by three."

No one (at least in our class) "knows he'll go down by three." We understand the basics but that's about it. Most of us are still trying to figure out how to use the bid boxes.

When we finally get to play a hand the teacher roams around the room barking, "No! That bid is wrong! You haven't counted your quick tricks, have you?"

"Umm, no. But you said if we had 13 high card points, no doubletons and a four card suit we should ..."

"MAJORS! I said that only counts if you're playing in the majors!" shrieks teacher.

No wonder people drink when they play this game.

Manly competition

2007-10-22T12:38:00.000-04:00

Most Kentuckians following the gubernatorial race between Ernie Fletcher and Steve Beshear are focusing on one or two things 1) getting rid of Fletcher (the first Republican governor we've elected in over 30 years) or 2) getting casino gambling (because when Churchill Downs built that big new addition a few years why else would they make it look like a casino?).

But last weekend's debate was about which candidate had the biggest testosterone level. To settle the score they reached into their pants and pulled out their hunting licenses.

Recently ...

2007-10-08T09:22:00.000-04:00

Reading: A Million Little Pieces by James Frye and The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

Watching: Top Chef finale (yuck, ugh!); Dexter (yay!); Mad Men (best show on tv!)

Learning: Bridge (lesson #3 is this week)

Consumer consequences

2007-10-05T10:45:00.000-04:00

It would take 5.2 planet Earths to sustain all of the people on earth if everyone consumed like me.

Try it yourself.

You probably don't want to travel with me

2007-09-24T16:54:00.000-04:00

I read what traveler Dana "three pillows and a fan" McMahan wrote about what we should know about traveling with her so I started thinking about my own travels.

And while I don't have 20 countries under my belt like Dana, I have at least a thousand stories. And millions of memories.

- I know that I can sleep anywhere, like under the stars or under a school bus (in the rain). And on the floor in church basements and on lumpy couches. Once I slept on a fire escape in Manhattan.

- I must not be picky about my hotel accommodations either. I've stayed at a bright pink concrete block motel outside of Waco and in a 5-room cottage at the Ritz Carleton outside of Pasadena.

- Don't forget to ask me about the youth hostels, the dorm rooms, the retreat centers and the log cabins. I can tell you about the bathrooms that were outdoors or down the hall.

- I love to people-watch in train stations and bus stations. Airports? Not so much.

- I've logged about 1,000 hours on Greyhound buses. One time, on a bus in the middle of Iowa I sat next to a woman who I learned was born in the same small town in Kentucky where I'm from. She was coming from Maine and going to California and I was on my way to Canada. And I'd dated her youngest brother. And we met on a bus in the dead center of the U.S. What are the odds?

- I've hitchhiked through West Virginia and flown via first class to California. Church buses? Yes. Subways? Yes. Passenger trains? Yes. The Delta shuttle between DC and NYC? God yes. Hippy van? Far out man!

- I rode in the back seat of a VW beetle for eight hours on I-40 from Knoxville to Memphis. In August. Without air conditioning. With three other adults and a German shepherd named Max. It was a great trip.

- Twice in my life I've accepted rides to my hotel from men I met on the plane. And no, we haven't stayed in touch. It wasn't like that.

- I've suffered altitude sickness in the Arizona desert and sea sickness on Lake Michigan. You probably don't think that's possible, but it is.

- I like to eat the local cuisine. Usually, in the U.S., that's pizza. And coke. And maybe donuts.

What about your own travel? Do tell.

Rabbit, rabbit

2007-08-31T16:07:00.000-04:00

From Wikipedia:

“Rabbit rabbit white rabbit” is a common superstition, held particularly among children. The most common modern version states that a person should say “rabbit, rabbit, white rabbit” upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the remainder of that month.

Who knew? Happy September.

Dinah Blair

2007-08-29T19:24:00.001-04:00

This is my great-grandmother Dinah Day Blair.

Anticipating ...

2007-08-29T19:16:00.000-04:00

Things I'm looking forward to:

- A trip to Charleston with Babycakes. It's been almost a year since we've been out of town (alone) together. I plan to eat crab at every meal.

- Hardwood floors. The floor guy can start work in October. This is the one house project that will make the biggest impact and I can't wait.

- Backyard fence. The design is selected, measurements have been taken, and the color is being debated. But it'll be done by winter. Again, this project will change everything in the backyard and I'm so glad it's finally time to do it.

The south is gonna sink again

2007-08-25T15:11:00.000-04:00

I had to wait a few minutes before my haircut appointment this week. Imagine my delight when I found in the waiting area a copy of Garden & Gun magazine.

"Garden & Gun will attract men and women who live an adventure bound, art loving, skeet shooting lifestyle and who have a love affair with the South."

I glanced around to see just who these Southern art loving skeet shooters were. Mind you, this is a shop in the so-called "old Sears building" with a loyal clientele and a Russian manicurist who is so popular that a client has to die before you can get an appointment with her. I didn't see any guns. I guess we're just hard to spot.

Mary and Joseph and the baby

2007-08-19T10:37:00.000-04:00

I've written before about our across-the-street neighbors. They are connected somehow to the Baptist Seminary down the street so we started calling them Mary and Joseph because we didn't know their names.

They are really good neighbors (yes, we know their real names now) if you can ignore the giant American flag hanging on the porch and the fact that their recycling bin is always free of wine bottles.

This week we found out that they're going to China to get a baby girl. We saw her picture and learned that they've named her Sophie Kate and that she'll be 10 months old by the time she arrives in America.

So, if Mary and Joseph have a baby girl named Sophie is that proof that Jesus was female AND jewish? I hope so. Mazeltov!